My Path To Becoming a Yogi (Part 2)

This past Thursday I completed my 200-hour certification for Yoga Teacher Training (YTT). I fully intended to document and post my 200YTT journey along the way, but I had no idea just how exhausted and overwhelmed I would feel, pretty much, everyday for 15 weeks straight! This is not to say I did not enjoy my YTT experience. I loved it. Even the hardest parts that tested my mental and physical toughness, pushing me harder. I learned so much about the practice of yoga, teaching and of myself. I grew and transformed. I said to a friend recently that YTT is life changing, the greatest self-learning experience of my life.

Every day of self-study and class-time with our instructor had its challenges. I look back and I’m still not sure what was the biggest challenge - me getting past being nervous while teaching or dealing with Egyptian internet issues so that I could actually participate in class. Thankfully I never missed a class, but I reached a whole new level of anxiety when I lost my Zoom connection while practice teaching! From the beginning Chelsea, our instructor, set the tone. Teaching entirely online was new territory for her, too, (thanks to the pandemic) and who knew what technology issues might arise. To quote her, “It’s just yoga.” My classmate and I felt a little differently since we were paying for it, but we understood what Chelsea meant, essentially - Take a breath…we’ll roll with whatever comes and we’ll get through it. Day-by-day the pandemic was testing my chill and I needed to change my behavior. IT’S JUST YOGA became not just our class mantra, but how I began to approach life outside of class.

Originally I set out on YTT to become a better student, get better at some asanas and ultimately get my certification. I had my doubts of how much I’d be able to accomplish and how good of a yogi I’d be, especially with meditation. I can’t sit still for 5 minutes let alone 30! Never could I have imagined the impact this training would have on me – physically, mentally and spiritually. It’s not just about exercise, practicing physical yoga (Hatha) or asanas everyday. It’s all encompassing – Hatha, Jnana (knowledge and self-study), Bhakti (Divine devotion), Mantra (repetition of one), Raja (meditation), and Karma (self-service) – throughout the day, everyday. As YTT progressed I could feel the change in me and in the energy of our home. I was calming down, becoming a better person, and not just for myself, but for those around me.

It didn’t occur to me that I’d learn more about myself, question why I act/react in certain ways, and work through some crap I didn’t even know was there. None of this was part of the curriculum. It just came over me like a wave. I’ve had therapists over the years, really good managers, and a wonderful leadership coach all who helped me to be very aware of my tendencies, plus JR has no problem calling me out when necessary, but YTT turned a spotlight on SO many things that none of these people could address because only I could see them from the minutia of my personal experiences.

It’s incredible how quickly my being embraced the discipline, how I’m able to see things in myself I hadn’t before. I had heard about people having “breakthroughs” while practicing but I didn’t know what that meant. And when it started happening in me, I kept asking myself “What is going on and why does this thought keep popping into my head?” There is a saying I learned in class, “We don’t use the body to get into the asana. We use the asana to get into the body.” Working together, yoga and the body can be so powerful that the combination can trigger memories and feelings when we least expect them. And the same thoughts or memories kept coming until I finally realized I had to process them to get past them.

Now when I have a breakthrough or a deeper awareness of myself while meditating, reading, or in an asana it makes me want to keep pushing myself. I’m grateful for what I’ve begun to learn of yoga and what yoga has made possible for me to learn of myself. It’s work everyday and I love seeing the changes in me. It’s far from perfect, but at least I’m much more aware of what I’m doing and know what I can be doing to help myself. I now have so many tools to be more than just a yogi, but a better individual, and I can’t wait to see my continued transformation. I can’t imagine leading a life without yoga. Part of me wishes I would have done this earlier in life, but the other other part of me doesn’t know that it would have had the same impact on me then. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind 15 or 10 years ago to fully embrace the discipline as I am now.

I followed up my above comment to my friend with saying that people could work through so much if they could do yoga, get connected with themselves and be mindful of what their body is trying to tell them. It’s SO powerful. All of us have the ability to do this.

I’ve been waking up ridiculously earl this last week, wide awake, mind racing with ideas, wanting to write, get up to do yoga, to begin this new chapter of life after YTT. I’m so excited for what’s to come and want to share my experience with whoever is willing to read or listen. Even if I’m not able to help a lot of people to connect with themselves in this way, at the very least I hope my kiddos will continue to have an interest in yoga as they grow to help them with any struggles they might have on their path.

Thanks for reading this! Can’t wait to continue to share more with you.

Sending you all light and love. AGB

My Path To Becoming a Yogi (Part 1)

This journey began when I was pregnant with Pepa, while we were living in Riyadh.  One of the wives taught yoga (for free!) at the Embassy. Every Tuesday I’d race there after work, already dressed for class under my abaya to meet my Riyadh bestie, power through an hour of Vinyasa, then we’d meet our husband’s and kiddos upstairs to eat pizza and drink wine. This was our Tuesday evening ritual. The rest of the week JR and I would workout with the crew or I’d practice yoga on my own at home on. I loved that yoga was a consistent part of my life. I felt more balanced with it.

Eventually, our yoga instructor would be leaving. That’s the thing about foreign-service life, we’re always moving every 2-3 years. We all knew the dreaded day was coming and began asking ourselves, “Who is going to teach yoga?” A few suggested that I teach, to which I quickly responded with a flat out “NO”. I enjoyed yoga a lot, but I didn’t know a single thing about teaching. And if the thought of being in front of a classroom of people wasn’t intimidating enough, I’d have to memorize a script for an hour-long Vinyasa class every week. No, thanks.

And then I started ruminating on this idea. If other people thought I could teach, then why don’t think the same? Our teacher and her family left Riyadh right when I was leaving for my med-evac back to The States to have Pepa. I actually started looking into certification schools in Ann Arbor, on the crazy thought that I might actually be able to start while pregnant and finish after her arrival. I know, incredibly ambitious. I have no idea what I was thinking. A few months later the kiddos and I returned to Riyadh and I began focusing on my personal practice solo. My Riyadh bestie was also gone. There are a ton of online yoga resources I could use on my own at home and I I got into a great routine for about 6 months.

In September 2019, we moved to Cairo and suddenly life is very different. We no longer have a live-in nanny, the boys are in school, but I now have a very active toddler at home all-day. I was trying to stay busy and social at this new post. I was maintaining and creating connections with my old colleagues in hopes of working remotely, but no position surfaced. My workout and yoga routine fell to the wayside while I focused on taking care of our home and kiddos. Then Covid hit. The boys were home from school and I was now a taking on preschool teaching responsibilities. We’re social distancing and quarantining. I had even less time for myself. I needed something though.

JR had been building out a gym for us at home for months. Since he was home from work most days we started working out together again at the end of March, while Pepa napped and we let the boys have their iPads. It’s so much more fun and motivating to have a workout buddy. We balanced our workouts with yoga. A lot of yoga. My body craved yoga. There were days I’d do yoga before or after our workouts.

Then, out of the blue, a friend in Cairo asked if I was teaching yoga, which I wasn’t. And then our Riyadh yoga teacher commented on one of my Facebook posts (that had nothing to do with yoga) suggesting I get certified. I was flattered that people thought I could get certified and teach. Immediately my mind went to all of the reasons why I couldn’t get certified. The biggest one being our three small kids at home and no full-time help.  I can see now, that was just my insecurity coming up with excuses not to do it.

The universe was trying to tell me something though. If people think I can teach and if someone who is a teacher is encouraging me to get certified, then why aren’t I thinking of myself the same way? It’s like I subconsciously knew I was on the verge of something BIG and the universe was pushing me towards Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) even more.

The timing was perfect. I’m stuck at home and I’m not working. Surely with Covid there has to be some schools back home doing online certification. So I started researching and there it was – Samskara, a school in Virginia not far from our home base. It was important to me to find a school where I’d have a connection with the school and people to build a relationship. Yoga is about connecting. Getting certified from some faceless online program or a studio in a city I would likely never visit made absolutely no sense to me.

Samskara’s next 200-hour YTT program was to begin in September, running to December. I had a phone interview with one of the owners and I liked her immediately. We had planned to Facetime, twice, but of course I had technical difficulties connecting with her on both occasions (ahh, Egypt and its sub-par internet). I was relieved she was super chill about it. Of course this immediately started my anxiety about the internet actually working for class (I’ll get into that another time). Classes would on be live on Tuesdays and Thursdays, via Zoom, starting 9a in Virginia, which is 3p in Cairo. Again, another thing I was nervous about since my mind starts shutting down in the afternoon. I would be journaling, practicing yoga and meditation everyday, in addition to the coursework that needed to be completed for the certification.

It was all a little daunting to think about, but I wanted this. I needed this. And all of the pieces were falling into place perfectly. JR was completely supportive, too. We knew it would come with some challenges, but we’d figure it out along way. I’m going to become a yogi!