This past Thursday I completed my 200-hour certification for Yoga Teacher Training (YTT). I fully intended to document and post my 200YTT journey along the way, but I had no idea just how exhausted and overwhelmed I would feel, pretty much, everyday for 15 weeks straight! This is not to say I did not enjoy my YTT experience. I loved it. Even the hardest parts that tested my mental and physical toughness, pushing me harder. I learned so much about the practice of yoga, teaching and of myself. I grew and transformed. I said to a friend recently that YTT is life changing, the greatest self-learning experience of my life.
Every day of self-study and class-time with our instructor had its challenges. I look back and I’m still not sure what was the biggest challenge - me getting past being nervous while teaching or dealing with Egyptian internet issues so that I could actually participate in class. Thankfully I never missed a class, but I reached a whole new level of anxiety when I lost my Zoom connection while practice teaching! From the beginning Chelsea, our instructor, set the tone. Teaching entirely online was new territory for her, too, (thanks to the pandemic) and who knew what technology issues might arise. To quote her, “It’s just yoga.” My classmate and I felt a little differently since we were paying for it, but we understood what Chelsea meant, essentially - Take a breath…we’ll roll with whatever comes and we’ll get through it. Day-by-day the pandemic was testing my chill and I needed to change my behavior. IT’S JUST YOGA became not just our class mantra, but how I began to approach life outside of class.
Originally I set out on YTT to become a better student, get better at some asanas and ultimately get my certification. I had my doubts of how much I’d be able to accomplish and how good of a yogi I’d be, especially with meditation. I can’t sit still for 5 minutes let alone 30! Never could I have imagined the impact this training would have on me – physically, mentally and spiritually. It’s not just about exercise, practicing physical yoga (Hatha) or asanas everyday. It’s all encompassing – Hatha, Jnana (knowledge and self-study), Bhakti (Divine devotion), Mantra (repetition of one), Raja (meditation), and Karma (self-service) – throughout the day, everyday. As YTT progressed I could feel the change in me and in the energy of our home. I was calming down, becoming a better person, and not just for myself, but for those around me.
It didn’t occur to me that I’d learn more about myself, question why I act/react in certain ways, and work through some crap I didn’t even know was there. None of this was part of the curriculum. It just came over me like a wave. I’ve had therapists over the years, really good managers, and a wonderful leadership coach all who helped me to be very aware of my tendencies, plus JR has no problem calling me out when necessary, but YTT turned a spotlight on SO many things that none of these people could address because only I could see them from the minutia of my personal experiences.
It’s incredible how quickly my being embraced the discipline, how I’m able to see things in myself I hadn’t before. I had heard about people having “breakthroughs” while practicing but I didn’t know what that meant. And when it started happening in me, I kept asking myself “What is going on and why does this thought keep popping into my head?” There is a saying I learned in class, “We don’t use the body to get into the asana. We use the asana to get into the body.” Working together, yoga and the body can be so powerful that the combination can trigger memories and feelings when we least expect them. And the same thoughts or memories kept coming until I finally realized I had to process them to get past them.
Now when I have a breakthrough or a deeper awareness of myself while meditating, reading, or in an asana it makes me want to keep pushing myself. I’m grateful for what I’ve begun to learn of yoga and what yoga has made possible for me to learn of myself. It’s work everyday and I love seeing the changes in me. It’s far from perfect, but at least I’m much more aware of what I’m doing and know what I can be doing to help myself. I now have so many tools to be more than just a yogi, but a better individual, and I can’t wait to see my continued transformation. I can’t imagine leading a life without yoga. Part of me wishes I would have done this earlier in life, but the other other part of me doesn’t know that it would have had the same impact on me then. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind 15 or 10 years ago to fully embrace the discipline as I am now.
I followed up my above comment to my friend with saying that people could work through so much if they could do yoga, get connected with themselves and be mindful of what their body is trying to tell them. It’s SO powerful. All of us have the ability to do this.
I’ve been waking up ridiculously earl this last week, wide awake, mind racing with ideas, wanting to write, get up to do yoga, to begin this new chapter of life after YTT. I’m so excited for what’s to come and want to share my experience with whoever is willing to read or listen. Even if I’m not able to help a lot of people to connect with themselves in this way, at the very least I hope my kiddos will continue to have an interest in yoga as they grow to help them with any struggles they might have on their path.
Thanks for reading this! Can’t wait to continue to share more with you.
Sending you all light and love. AGB