It’s been a challenging year. Anyone who knows me well knows I’m fairly private. I do have the occasional vent, but I don’t like complaining. Despite being called a “bad bitch” and “tough mama” by those closest to me, I think people think I’m tougher than I actually am. I’m incredibly fortunate and have a really great life, surrounded by loving a husband, beautiful babes, and amazing family and friends. So many have no idea what this year has brought though.
I intended to start this blog January 1. New year, new project, and a new way to share our life with our family and friends, especially as we began our move prep for Riyadh. A bunch of things came up since then that prevented me from starting this that now just seem like lazy excuses and don’t really matter. After this last week of getting set-up in Riyadh, now is the best time to start sharing our bittersweet story with you all.
The high/lowlights include a breast cancer scare in February which was thankfully cleared with an ultrasound and mammogram but subsequently brought on the recommendation and realization that I needed to chemically treat my longtime anxiety issues, in early March being told I wouldn’t be able to continue my job while living in Riyadh, learning I was pregnant, figuring out a plan of attack to find a job in the Middle East (in a place where most women don’t work), taking the gents to Paris, and then finding out in early April that the pregnancy wasn’t successful.
Sometimes you just come to your breaking point and have to vent. 2017 hasn’t been challenging for just me. I can look around my tribe and see the struggle so many people are going through – personally, professionally, with their health, etc. – and it begs the question…what is going on???
I share all of this with you not to just bring you up to speed on my life, but to be honest and real. What’s a true relationship if we’re not sharing the bad bits, too? (And if any of you is going through a similar experience, know you can always lean on me.) At first I felt defeated when I decided to go with my internist’s advice to take Lexapro, until I saw the positive in the kick-start that it would give me to get through this challenging time. And I was devastated when my gynecologist didn’t find a heartbeat during my first ultrasound, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I’ll share more about all of this in due time. For now, I’m still processing.
Even though I’m a life-long Catholic, those close to me know that I’m “progressive”. I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason and the strength that these challenges and heartaches bring anyone with an open mind and heart. I believe in awareness, mindfulness, energy, a little bit of astrology, the theory of The Force, and, above all, the love that God has for us all.
That love I have seen expressed so many ways, through so many people, and at the most perfect moments when I needed it most. So I thank you all who have shared in this journey thus far. And I look forward to everyone else who is now sharing in our adventures to come.