Disclaimer: I’m going a little off my usual topics this week. Guess I’m just fired up and need to vent.
Not sure if anyone was keeping tabs on the World Economic Forum last week. I surely wasn’t, but I happened to catch a video clip of Princess Reema during the Saudi panel discussion. I’ve written about her in a few previous posts as she’s a huge women advocate and I had the pleasure of seeing her speak at a conference in December. She’s brilliant and I took her words in Davos to heart. I will admit that I’m guilty of being judgmental of some cultural differences and skeptical of progress in Saudi Arabia.
This was timely because just the day before I was out to lunch with some fellow “diplo wives of Riyadh”. ;) We were discussing Islamic culture, particularly rules for women during Ramadan and not being able to fast when menstruating and the requirement of those fast days being made up later in the year before the next Ramadan. When I learned of this it reminded me of Orthodox Judaism’s law of niddah and how a woman is considered “impure” while on her period and until she cleanses herself (mikvah). Yes, both practices seems a bit extreme and anti-woman to me. It’s not my culture, nor my religion. I wasn’t raised with those practices in my upbringing, but I applaud people who are devout and closely follow their religion’s rules. I bend the rules of the Catholic Church quite a bit, so kudos to them!
I try to be pretty open minded about other religions and cultures and after listening the Princess Reema’s panel discussion in Davos it reinforced – I’m not saying what’s right or wrong, some things are just different than what I’m accustomed to. Living and working in KSA has certainly pushed me to be more understanding and accepting.
Although I’ve been hopeful about progress in the Kingdom and excited to see it happen while we’re living here, which I’ve written about previously, I will totally own being a naysayer about the progress made in this country. A lot has happened since our arrival last June. Women will be driving this summer, movie theaters will open in March, women over the age of 25 can travel alone (with some stipulations), women can now attend soccer matches, there is an co-ed outdoor music festival planned in Riyadh this spring, etc. If you speak with anyone who has lived here more than 5 years they with say this changes are huge! And when they were announced a lot of people said, including myself, I’ll believe it when I see it...insha allah (if God wills it). Once can quickly become jaded being here when you start feeling oppressed yourself.
All of these changes are the right thing to do for the Kingdom and its’ people. A lot of people will say it’s being done for the West, to make companies feel more comfortable doing business here. And that is sad, because even though progress has been slow for decades or regressed because some clerics deemed it, the truth of the matter is America and the West, probably shouldn’t be casting stones.
I’m not going to say that things are perfect in KSA. There is so much progress still to be made. I’ve heard some sexist comments made about women, from non-Saudis and non-Muslims alike. Yes, I will respond when I hear them but I do so VERY politely. I’m always reminding myself that our cultures are so different. It’s nothing that offensive, mainly comments about women not knowing how to drive properly driving or dealing with women’s hormones in the office. Really, some of these comments would have been common to hear in the U.S. 20 years ago.
But look at how devastating our culture is right now? We claim to be progressive but how can we be when we have so many devastating sexual assault, harassment and inequality issues and an obscene amount that surfaced in just the last 4 months? We unfortunately have a culture of f*ck boys, cultivated for decades, who somewhere along the way believed it was fine to demean women and men, preyed on those with less strength or power, took advantage of people with less status than them, and made it so those people didn’t feel safe speaking out or coming forward, until now. Even the supposed good guys, those portrayed as heroes in films in Hollywood, didn’t even come to the rescue of their friends and costars when they heard these stories years ago! It’s disappointing to know these acts have recently taken place in corporate culture, in politics, and in universities. It makes me feel like nowhere is safe. And as a mother it’s really scary. The #MeToo and #TimesUp movements have been powerful in creating support that’s obviously necessary for people to know and feel they’re not alone. Is shocking that it’s taken this long for it all to surface.
Clearly a lot of progress still needs to be made in the US, too. I hope and pray we’re closing an ugly chapter and that people will never be afraid to speak their truth. I will do everything in my power to raise kind and respectful children, with confidence and strength to not only defend for themselves but to defend anyone they hear of or see is being hurt.